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Today, as we approach Christmas and the end of 2023, I would like to encourage us all to exit this year with GRATITUDE.

Let's not remind ourselves of our failures; the 5 kilos we didn't lose, the healthy diet we didn't stick to, the patience we failed to show our kids when they needed it, the yoga practice we never started, the extra income we didn't bring in, the quality time with family we never prioritised, that promotion at work we didn't get, the goals we set which we failed to reach. 

Instead, this year, as we put Christmas behind us and begin to look forward to 2024, let's start a new process of being grateful. Each day, look back on your day and your year and really pull out all the things that you can be grateful for. Turn the misses into wins. What did you learn? What is the silver lining? Look under the dirty carpet, find the sparkly coin. Fill your pockets with hidden treasures and appreciate every single one of them for what they are; another thing to be grateful for, no matter how big or how small. That way you give yourself the gift of starting the new year with your cup filled to the brim. 

I am thankful for:-

My aim for 2024? 

To begin and continue on in 2024 with intention, awareness, and a higher vibration. To journal everyday and to practice living mindfully. To live less in worry and more in abundance. To remember to give thanks and to have faith. To trust. To set goals, let go of the outcome and relish in the process. To model a kind of living that I would like my son to live as he navigates his own journey. To live imperfectly and be ok with it. To not beat myself up over mistakes but to embrace them as learnings. To repair with people when I need to and to be humble in doing so. To show kindness to others and to live from a place of service. To be less judgemental and more curious. To be. 

If you are reading this, thank you for taking the time to do so. And thank you for supporting me on my journey. I hope that we will cross paths again in 2024 and that the new year allows you to fill your cup, to live in the moment, to connect with your kids, to flourish in your relationships and to thrive in all areas of your life. And if that seems too much to ask for, just pick one and do that. 

And remember, if you need support in making 2024 the year that you finally connect authentically with yourself and your kids, when you can take control of your life, your parenting and your future, send me a message. 

Let's chat. 

Wishing you a very happy New Year with Peace, Love and Joy. 

In this blog post, the author emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence and offers practical tips for regulating our nervous system and strengthening the Vagus Nerve. The article explains that constant stress can impair our ability to regulate emotions and teach our children to do the same. The analogy of the nervous system as a superhero, with the Vagus Nerve serving as a calming sidekick, is used to illustrate how stress affects our body. The post provides various activities for strengthening the Vagus Nerve, such as deep breathing exercises and yoga, as well as calming the nervous system through activities like listening to calm music and engaging with nature. The author encourages readers to incorporate these practices into their daily routine to improve their ability to handle stress and achieve a sense of calm in their lives.

As parents, it can be challenging to find time for meaningful connection with our children amidst the demands of daily life. However, engaging in play with our kids is essential for building strong relationships and promoting their emotional well-being. Even short bursts of play can have a significant impact, so it's about quality, not quantity. Setting aside dedicated time for play and being fully present in those moments can help create a foundation of trust and open communication. It's important to remember that play is not about elaborate activities; it's simply about finding joy and connecting with our children. Embrace the power of play and witness the magic it can bring to your relationship with your little ones.

As mothers, we often find ourselves in a constant juggling act, trying to maintain order and balance in the midst of daily chaos. We dream of being the perfect mothers, seamlessly managing every aspect of our children's lives while also keeping our homes in pristine condition. But the reality is far from perfect. Many of us work, and these days lives are busier than ever. Truth be told, the chaos can feel overwhelming.

So just how do we get the balance right? How do we ensure everybody's needs are met (including our own) whilst ensuring bills are paid, meals are cooked, rooms are tidy and everyone gets to school on time? 

Here's a quick guide to achieving that elusive equilibrium:

First and foremost, it's essential to release the notion of being a perfect mother. Perfection is an unattainable goal that only adds to our stress. Understand that it's okay to make mistakes, and your children will love you even more for your authenticity. 

Furthermore, it is impossible for us to do it all. 

So, instead of trying to get the house tidy, do a whole week's worth of batch cooking, whilst playing and engaging with your children, focus on one thing.  Want to be fun mum for a day? Accept that the house will be messy. Need to be productive? Let the children spend some time on their own, even put them in front of the TV for a bit longer than usual to get them out of your hair. Lower your expectations of having to be super human and you will notice that you can excel at one thing more, whilst feeling like a better mum in the process.  

This is one that as mothers we hear over and over again. But just how do we make time for ourselves when we don't even have time for our kids?

Self-care is crucial for maintaining balance. When you care for yourself, you're better equipped to care for your family. The best way I do this for myself is to block out time in my calendar. If someone asks me to do something when I am meant to be going for a walk, I will simply tell them I am busy. If time to yourself is a foreign concept, start small. 10 minutes a day. Build up to longer periods. 

If you are anything like me, you will find a messy bedroom hard to deal with. I have learned to overcome my control to have things just as I like it by asking myself this very simple question:-

Is a messy room my kids' problem, or is it my problem. Is the fact that they decided to go out without a jacket their problem or my problem? 

Most issues I have are not my kids' problem. They are mine. When I find that the problem is mine, I get to choose whether I can park it for now, or deal with it. It is all about picking my battles. And so I have learned to let things go, so I can focus on connection and fun when the time sees fit. 

With regards to family, what is truly important to you? Here are a list of values which may or may not resonate:-

When you are clear on your values as a family, decisions become easier, boundaries make more sense and everyone becomes united in working together to live by these values. 

A noteworthy point to make is that some of our values are aspirational. We may for instance think we value respect, but it is only a value we want to see from our children. If we shout at them for not respecting our rules etc, we are not living the value of respect, as we are not showing this to our kids. When we value respect everyone shows mutual respect for each other by listening, honouring and acknowledging each other. 

Learn to prioritise, understand your limits and set achievable expectations. 

1. What expectations are you setting of yourself. What can you achieve in a day? What do you need to let go of? 

Be realistic of your limitations and be kind to yourself. 

You are not superhuman! Outsource where you can and seek support. 

2. What expectations are you setting of your children? If they are 5 and you are expecting them to tidy their room on their own, is this realistic? 

When it comes to tidying up, children up to the age of 7 need an awful lot of guidance, and the best way to get them to do chores is to do it with them. Begin to understand them more and then set your expectations based on their abilities. You will soon notice a difference. 

Mindfulness can help you stay grounded amid the chaos. Put away your devices. Practice being present in the moment, whether you're playing with your children, doing chores, or having a family meal. Mindfulness can help you appreciate the small joys in daily life.

It takes a village to raise a child. You're not alone in your journey. Reach out to other mothers for support and advice. Have regular catch ups with a group of like minded people. Sharing experiences and learning from others can be incredibly comforting and enlightening.

Don't forget to celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem. Whether it's a peaceful evening or a well-behaved shopping trip, recognise and reward both your efforts and your children's achievements.

Balancing control and chaos in motherhood is an ongoing process. It's about finding harmony in the beautiful mess of family life, learning to let go, and embracing the joyful moments that come your way. Remember, a happy home is not defined by perfection but by love, laughter, and the memories created.

Drop me a comment below to share with likeminded women tips and tools you use with your family to find that balance between control and chaos.